I was twenty-seven years old when I started writing this essay. A year before, overnight, my mother and I became caregivers to my father. This year, I will be turning thirty. I can feel I am aging. I live in India. I was trained in Kathak, one of the eight major forms of Indian classical dance. In recent years, I moved to contemporary dance and dance filmmaking. I have relied on my body all my life. But over the years, after recovering twice from COVID and through the caregiving of my father, my body became different. Never have I felt such inability and insecurity doing simple tasks like getting out of bed, or simply moving and dancing, than during and since my recovery from COVID and the exhaustion that has endured. I feel a constant desire and longing to go back to a previously lived version of this body than the one that lives today.